A Dragon's Guilt
by BeyondTheClouds777
Summary: *Spoilers for How To Train Your Dragon 2* Toothless still can't get over the fact that he kills Hiccup's father, and Hiccup confronts him about it. (One-shot)


Being the Alpha meant that he was supposed to be the strongest of them all. Being the Alpha meant that he was supposed to set the example for his followers. Being the Alpha meant many things that he couldn't fully grasp yet.

He had won his Alpha status. He had challenged the previous Alpha. He earned his leadership and his dragon following.

Why, then, did Toothless feel like he didn't deserve it?

He liked being the Alpha, really, he did. It was taking a lot of getting used to, of course, with the dragons greeting him formally instead of the common "Hello, Toothless!" he had heard so many times. It had went from a casual "Good day, Toothless!" to, "Oh, good morning, great Alpha!" and although part of Toothless liked his new title, every time he heard it, he only felt worse.

Because he was a murderer.

He killed Hiccup's father.

Sure, he understood the whole "the Alpha controls them all" and that he was under the mind control powers of the previous Alpha, but that didn't make him feel any better. The wound was still there. The fact that Stoick was dead reminded the Night Fury of his weakness. He hadn't fought off the mind control. He could have. He _should_ have, but instead, he fired the plasma blast, and killed the Chief of Berk.

Now, he made Hiccup pick up the pieces of the broken island.

He didn't think he deserved the Alpha status.

How could he?

The guilt really set in at night. During the day, Toothless and Hiccup were both busy with their own jobs, what with Hiccup being the Chief and Toothless being the Alpha, and they didn't have time to think about much else. But at night, when neither of them had other things to occupy themselves with...that's when Toothless' guilt really set in, because he couldn't think beyond the fact that _he killed his best friend's father._

The fact that Hiccup had nightmares about it didn't help, either. The longer it took for Hiccup to finally get back to sleep, the more guilty Toothless felt.

Because he did this.

It was his fault.

Hiccup always told him otherwise, but...it really didn't mean anything, honestly; what Hiccup said. Hiccup hardly ever blamed someone else when something bad happened. He always put the blame on himself. Toothless partially understood that, of course. The Night Fury always put most the blame on himself, too.

But...then again...it wasn't Hiccup's fault, and Toothless wished that Hiccup would just yell at him sometime and drill it into his head that it was Toothless' fault his father died. Sure, Toothless would be heartbroken by it, but it would be better then watching Hiccup suffer and blame himself constantly for the death of the man who raised him.

It was after a full day of simply helping the other dragons (and Hiccup occasionally with the young Chief's duties) that Toothless finally decided to retire to bed. Hiccup wasn't back yet, so he curled up on his stone slab in the corner of Hiccup's room, his wings tucked around his body, his tail curling around himself. He shut his eyes.

And of course the nightmares came.

 _Toothless was approaching Hiccup, a snarl plastered to his face. He didn't know what he was doing. There was a voice in the back of his mind, screaming, "No! No, you shouldn't be doing this!", but it was drowned out by the voice of the Alpha in his head, saying, "Kill him! Kill him, now!"_

 _He heard Hiccup screaming at him, pleading with him, begging him to stop. Toothless wanted to, really, he did, but...but...but…_

 _Kill him! Kill him!_

 _I can't! I can't! I can't do this!_

 _Kill him! Kill him!_

 _No! It's wrong!_

 _KILL HIM! KILL HIM!_

 _Kill him…_

 _Toothless found himself opening his mouth. He felt gas building in his throat...all it would take was a spark, and it would be over...he only had to ignite it. Ignite the gas, fire at the boy in front of him, kill him mercilessly…_

 _Toothless wanted to stop. He tried, but he couldn't. The Alpha was too powerful over him. Toothless had no power against the Bewilderbeast._

 _The only thing he heard was the voice screaming in his head for him to kill Hiccup. Hiccup's pleading voice was drowned out, as was the nagging voice of his conscience in the back of his mind._

 _He fired the plasma blast._

 _He shook his head, knocking himself from his daze, the Alpha's control finally wearing off. It started raining, the clouds darkening. Toothless looked around, expecting to find Stoick dead…_

 _But it wasn't Stoick._

 _It was Hiccup. Valka, Stoick, and Astrid were crowded around his body. Astrid was screaming at him, yelling at him, begging him to wake up and stop fooling around and telling him that the joke wasn't funny anymore._

 _Then, her screams turned into shrieking sobs, and Toothless found himself approaching. He always knew that Astrid and Hiccup were close...but he had never actually seen Astrid cry before, and it was beyond unsettling._

 _He had to find out for himself. Hiccup couldn't be dead. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't...he couldn't…_

 _But Toothless knew the truth before he even got close to his fallen rider. His keen ears weren't picking up Hiccup's heartbeat. The boy wasn't breathing, either._

 _He was dead._

 _Dead._

 _The rain turned into glass, hitting his scales. He spun in a circle, trying to get the thoughts out of his head, although it did no good._

" _You did this, Toothless," a voice from an unknown source whispered. "You killed him. It's all your fault. Your fault, Toothless. You killed him, Toothless...Toothless...Toothless..._

"TOOTHLESS!"

Toothless jumped to his feet, looking around wildly. He forgot where he was for a few moments; was he still on the battlefield? Was Hiccup dead? Toothless had a hard time telling reality from dream, and it panicked him.

Had he killed Hiccup or not?

When his vision finally cleared, he was still in Hiccup's room, where he had fallen asleep. Then, he saw Hiccup's green eyes staring straight into his own, and he sprang backwards, nearly crashing into the wall.

"Toothless!" Hiccup yelped, springing to his feet and racing towards the Night Fury. Toothless growled warningly, and Hiccup skidded to a stop.

Toothless hoped the message was clear: _Stay away. Please. I'll only hurt you._

The terror in Hiccup's eyes turned into concern. "Oh, Toothless," he whispered, trying to take another step forward. Toothless merely growled and pressed himself against the wall. Hiccup hesitated, and then stepped forward again.

Toothless curled into himself on the ground, his wings around his body, his tail curled tight. He didn't want this. He didn't want to hurt Hiccup. He wanted Hiccup to go. He wanted Hiccup to go far away so that the Night Fury could never hurt him again.

"Toothless?" Hiccup whispered. "Buddy?"

Toothless growled. He didn't understand. He killed Hiccup's father...heck, he tried to kill Hiccup. Killing Stoick was an accident. The Alpha had wanted Toothless to kill Hiccup, not Stoick. Stoick jumping in was the only thing that separated Hiccup and Death.

Then why was Hiccup still calling him "Buddy" and not "Monster" or "Murderer"?

Hiccup sighed. "Nightmare," he breathed. It was a statement; not a question. He gazed at Toothless, his eyes sad. "I know. I get them, too."

Toothless shut his eyes. Sure, Hiccup got nightmares.

But at least Hiccup wasn't a murderer.

Toothless looked at Hiccup's prosthetic. He always felt guilty about that, too. During the fight with the Red Death, Toothless had caught Hiccup (who was unconscious, knocked out cold) by his leg in his teeth. He hadn't wanted to, but it was the only thing that Toothless could grab, and even though he saved Hiccup's life, he was still the reason Hiccup had a prosthetic.

Hiccup took another step, and Toothless stared at him. He didn't look scared. Not of Toothless, anyways. If anything, he looked scared _for_ Toothless. Toothless shut his eyes again.

"I'm not afraid of you, Toothless," Hiccup said as if reading the dragon's thoughts. "Do you know why, bud?" Toothless opened one of his eyes. "Because you would never hurt me," Hiccup said.

 _But I almost did._ Toothless wished Hiccup could understand him. He really, really did. _I almost killed you. Stay away. I'm a monster._

Toothless wasn't very confused by Hiccup's forgiveness, as Hiccup was a naturally forgiving person.

He was, however, confused when Hiccup walked towards him, knelt down, and laid beside the dragon.

"See?" Hiccup said. "Not afraid of you."

Toothless stared at the young Chief with confusion.

"Now, if you don't mind me," Hiccup said, "I'm going to go to sleep, right here, and you should get some sleep too, Toothless. You're not going to hurt me, so don't worry."

 _What?_ Toothless was confused as ever, especially when Hiccup, true to his word, fell asleep only moments later. The next few minutes, Toothless tried to decide what to do. He couldn't move without waking Hiccup, but at the same time, he didn't feel exactly comfortable with Hiccup so close to him, especially not after Toothless' nightmare…

But at the same time, Hiccup trusted him. Hiccup trusted Toothless with his life, and Hiccup made sure Toothless knew it more often than not. Toothless' tense posture relaxed, and he wrapped his wings around his rider and curled his tail around himself. It reminded him of the Red Death battle. The first few days after it, while Hiccup was still getting used to his prosthetic, he would sleep with Toothless often, and Toothless would let him.

Although he would never openly admit it, he liked it. He liked the reassurance that Hiccup's heart was still beating, especially after the ferocious battle in which Hiccup had lost his leg.

Toothless laid his head down, sleep beginning to tug at his mind.

Hiccup forgave him.

Now, he just needed to forgive himself.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 **Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwweeeeeee. *casually writes terribly endings for all fanfictions* SERIOUSLY, I NEVER KNOW HOW TO END ANY OF MY STORIES. Like, should I end it on a** _ **happy note,**_ **or should I let a cliffhanger do the job?**

 **Well, anyways, I hope the ending wasn't too….what's the word….bad. :) There you go! :D**

 **And I really have no reason to add an Author's Note to this at all...I guess I do it with most my stories, so...not doing one just seemed...ya. I had to do one. :P Silly me. :P :P**

 **OH, WAIT, NOW I REMEMBER! Okay, so, I know some of you are wondering if I'm going to kill Hiccup in any of my future fanfictions, because yes, I have done a few DeathFics in the past, but…**

 ***hides chainsaw behind back* Kill Hiccup? Why would I do something like that? What gave you that idea?**

 **Well, hopefully I don't kill him. I don't think I'll kill him again...** _ **again**_ **, because I've killed him like, what, three times? Two times? How many times have I killed him, now? Three, four? I can't remember…**

 **AAAANNNYYYWAAAYYYSSS….**

 **Until next story!**

 **-BeyondTheClouds777**


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